Good/Bad News

I have been accepted into the Nursing Program. I am excited, nervous, anxious, all of those normal things that come with something so life changing. I hope and pray that I am up for the challenge. It is not going to be easy financially. I will have to work Part Time, which means I am going to loose my benefits including Health Insurance, which also means that naturally my checks are going to be cut in half. This scares me I have no idea what we are going to do; Ben can not be with out Health Insurance. My husband is trying to find a job that has benefits, but lets face the facts, he has been trying to a good job for the last four years now with out any luck; so I am being completely honest when I saw that I am stressed to the max right now. I know that if this is what God wants me to do than everything will work itself out. I just hate not knowing what is going to happen. I want to go to be a nurse not only because it is a dream of mine, but because I know that I would be able to provide a good life for Ben. I want to be able to give him everything that my parents were able to give me. If I can't do this program, I can't see myself ever being able to provide for him the way my parents did for me. Being an adult is extremely frustrating at times... I find myself bursting into tears a lot lately. I hate feeling so weak, that I am letting such mundane things take control of my life. I wish I was stronger. Everyone is always telling me that I am strong person, because of how much I have already gotten through. The truth is, I am not as strong as everyone makes me seem to be. How could I be when I let all these stupid little things completely take over my life? I pray that God helps me to not be so vulnerable. I want to be that girl who see's a challenge or an obstacle and walks right through it with her head held high, instead of running away like a scared little girl who ends up feeling sorry for herself. I am not going to get any where in life with that kind of attitude! Ridiculous how I know all this; but yet here I sit with a box of tissue's to my left, and a stack of Oreo's to my right.... ::sigh::